Total Blasphemy

In my exit packet given to me by the mission president he included a talk  by a general authority about how nothing comes for free in this life and we must work hard if we wish to inherit the celestial glory. I cant find my exit packet or else I would reference the talk directly. This inst a talk that he includes for every missionary, It was placed in mine because of my blasphemous preaching and teaching the idea that we attribute nothing of ourselves separate of gods grace. I still remember my friend telling me in his exit interview that the mission president exclaimed to him that my ideas were “Blasphemy!  and totally heretical views for a latter day saint to hold!”. I was sent home. no exit interview just a phone call telling me i’m out. Im not bitter about the whole situation, I only bring this up because the ideas in this post are what were my undoing.

I have been back from my mission for about two months now. To be honest I was glad to leave the mission field, and i received personal conformation that Ihad done the lords work. The last two months have been pretty good to me, and I feel that i have been blessed by the lord with an abundance of happiness. By Babylons standards  I have been a “lazy freeloader” for the past two months. Being jobless and living on futon probably wouldn’t be my mission presidents definition of success. But I have found such joy in my experiences lately that i cant see why we force ourselves to live the way we do. Constantly building and bettering ourselves in pursuit of some sort of lofty goal which more often than not is centered around competition, attempting to be better than our neighbor. While those who arent caught up in the competition are confused into thinking that they have to play the game in order to be happy. It probably sounds like im talking about money, and in a sense I am, but that’s not the only place this anti competition way of life can apply.

Rockwaterman put it well when he said  the following in a recent post

“Buying into this idea that “I’ll do this for God, then He’ll do this for me” can be devastating for people when they get hit with the double whammies of life.  If you live long enough you may learn that even though you do everything you’re supposed to do, God can make no guarantees.  Jobs are still lost, illness intrudes, careers evaporate, divorces occur, fortunes disappear, children go astray. Sometimes our children even die.  When we’ve done everything we knew we were supposed to do, yet life becomes one disaster after another, we wonder why God let us down.  Why did he fail to hold up his end of the bargain?”

Rarely do we ask ourselves “What bargain?”

We were raised in Babylon, and wether we like it or not it plays a huge roll in placing manacles on our brain to cajole us into thinking we need to do this or that in order to get something in return. Gotta work to get paid. Sadly this same thought process is applied to our religious devotions.  Seeing blessings as currency will keep god just about as close an an employer. For me that’s not very close. We can work our butts off our whole lives just trying to keep our noses clean, being at every meeting, wearing the nice suit and combing our hair just right; but ultimately the standard that the lord holds us to is one that will never gratify our own pride.

Our standards become a problem when they cause us to feel as though we have held up our end of the bargain, as if we have been the catalyst to our salvation. This puts us ourselves up as a god for ourselves rather than Christ being our salvation. I remember sitting in a priesthood meeting and hearing a missionary recount a story of how before he left on his mission he was in deep financial trouble and how he prayed to the lord and informed the lord that he had payed his tithing, and then proceeded to ask for monetary blessings.  His testimony was that he received his blessings, so that meant that god always held up his end of the bargin. Now 8 months later im strongly compelled to ask what bargin? where in the scriptures does the lord say if you give the church ten percent of your earnings, you will be blessed with more money?

 Malachi 3:10 does say

“Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the Lord of hosts, if Iwill not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it.”

I don’t read any sort of bargain out of this, its not a specific deal that the lord is making with you. comparing it to an investment makes me want to hurl. the lord says he will pour out huge blessings on you if you pay your tithing. thats all he says. Its a deal. but not the kind of deal we think of. Its kind of like when you buy those mystery bags of candy on Halloween, except for the fact that whatever god puts in the bag of blessings is always the best thing for you at the time.  The lord doesn’t have to give you anything at all in this situation, maybe the blessing that you have not room enough to receive is loosing your job to help you to learn some lesson or another.

It takes a truly wicked man to come up with the idea that heaven can be purchased by our supposedly good deeds. But yet that has become the center point of the religious exercises of most Latter Day Saints, the idea that if we just do certain things and attend certain meetings, we will be righteous. Many are led by this philosophy to exlaim in thier hearts,”o righteous man that I am, I’m good enough to hold a temple recommend! I have earned it!”

While the prophets Paul and Nephi are led to exclaim.

“O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death? I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord” Romans 7:24-25

and

“O wretched man that I am! Yea, my heart sorrowethbecause of my flesh; my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities. I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily beset me. And when I desire to rejoice, my heart groaneth because of my sins; nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted. My God hath been my support” 2 Nephi 4: 17-20

Paul and Nephi both Exclaim their filth, and looks for a deliverer, a savior someone to lighten the load, they find that in Jesus our god and our support.  The problem comes when we exclaim our filth but then look to ourselves at the savior, as if we could fix what we did. unless there have been some advances in time travel that I don’t know of then that is literally impossible! You have sinned and you need a savior! there really is no way around it you will never earn heaven because you ruined it from the get go. Traveling back in time is impossible so there must be an atonement made.  And only when you can be led to exclaim your own folly and worthlessness will the lord be able to raise you up, until then your pride will hold you in the abyss of your ego.

A short thought about words

Words have always been an interesting thing. My brother often tells me, “if you control the definition of a word you control the conversation”. Its scary how true that is. We use words to tell others how we feel, to express our self. “if you control the definition of the word you control the conversation”. This simple phrase changed my life. Realizing that words are created by people, has the power to turn your head to new horizons. To open your mind to a much wider realm of perception. Words have become a form of bondage the shackles of definition cause us to second guess all that we do. We use words to define other words making it literally impossible to explain ourselves to others. that is of course without the spirit. Without the spirit as a medium of communication words will get us no where. ”and if ye receive not the Spirit ye shall not teach.” D&C 42:14.

what do you think??…

Waiting (fixed)

Much of my life, and I’m convincede the lives of others, has been spent waiting and looking forward to things. I waited to get a drivers license. I looked forward to the summer break. I waited to get off work so that I could hang out. I waited for the cross country race the coming weekend. I waited for my mission call, and then endured the MTC experience. I’ve gone through a phase of struggling to stay on mission and just waiting every week for p-day. All with the hopes that I can endure a whole 2 years and go home.

But then what? Satan’s “real world” would tell me to wait through 4 years of “education” so that I can look forward to a wonderful job opportunity. So that I can wait  for a paycheck every week; so that I can wait till my kids are old enough to leave the house, and I can then retire… Once retired then what? Well more waiting… but when does it stop when does the waiting end.

Many assume the waiting for better things will end when we die and are “assigned a kingdom” or when we “go to heaven”.  Then we can stop waiting because now were stuck in one of the 3 circles on the diagram… “Gee hopefully I’m good enough for the celestial one”.  This, “hopefully I can be good enough” mentality can cause for a really stressful waiting period

As we wait we ask god “what do you expect of us in order to be worthy?  Or good enough for such a kingdom? “The lord responds by simply telling us we have fallen and we wont be worthy but to be humble enough to accept his direct guidance, and we accept the atonement he will do the works through us.  But the ones waiting reply “well god you can’t really mean it’s that simple we want to make ourselves better”. So in reply the lord gives us exactly what we have asked for with a checklist of things that we do in order to make ourselves righteous.  In the days of the children of Israel god gave them 614 laws to follow. Of course the laws pointed to something and were deeply symbolic because they come from god. But unfortunately the people added their own laws onto the list as well, as they the rejected the actual list that god had given. And we have seen practically the exact same thing happen today, we have rejected the meaningful laws while adding our own rules of worship. Rules that point to nothing but our own pride. “If ye teach the law of Moses why do ye not keep it? Why do ye set your hearts upon riches?” (Mosiah 12: 29) We are required to wear costly apparel but have rejected or ignored large portions of the D&C (the modern law of Moses)

Maybe it’s just me but I see a pattern here, the more written laws and commandments of men a people receive the more self-righteousness and pride they embrace.  It seems that as we add more and more expectations for ourselves and for others the less we are able to see the worth of souls. We become statistics capable of producing something instead of people.

The law is interesting because the same Lord through the apostle Paul later states “By the deeds of the law there shall no flesh be justified in his sight” (Rom 3:20) well then why would he give the law? Whats the point? The point is that by focusing on our own merits we miss the point. “For god hath taken away his plainness from them, and delivered unto them many things which they could not understand….god hath done it that they may stumble.” (Jacob 4:14) The law is there so that we will realize that we cannot do it on your own.

God does not wish for us to be down here just waiting, and worrying about eternity, and whether or not we are going to be “worthy” for eternity when it comes at some point in the future. Granted this life is a time for men to “prepare to meet god” (Alma 34:32) but given the scriptures cited above and many other things I could cite, I think it’s easy to say that focusing on obedience with  exactness is missing the point. Especially when we’re striving to obey mans rules rather than gods laws.  I feel a different form of preparation is in order…

Alma in Alma 5:27-28 gives us a big hint as to what sort of preparation is needed, “Behold I say unto you are you stripped of pride? I say unto you if you are not your are not prepared to meet god.”  (Alma 5:28) verse 27 also gives us some great insight he starts by asking if we are blameless before god? And then proceeds to tell us what makes us blameless, and the only qualification is humility. Humble enough to allow Christ’s atonement to take away our unworthiness.

Our worthiness struggle is a problem because it removes our humility and replaces it with pride. “I am going to pay tithing so that I can get the blessings, because if I do the works I deserve the blessings” I could say that over the pulpit and none would cry foul. This kind of statement is common among us if not openly than definitely in our minds. We act like the only reason for the gospel is for god to give us what we deserve for our good works. “obedience with exactness+hard work+ faith=blessings”  is the mission equation. Obedience is reduced to being a means to an end.
There has become an unwritten checklist for members (it’s written for missionaries) when obedience is the only focus. It’s a checklist of dead silly works done without hear but just to check it off to relieve the burden of unworthiness from the mind. But what we are not seeing is that the burden is not to be taken upon us. It is taken upon Christ. Our merits can never relieve that burden. Only Christ merits.

“He hath forgiven us…and taken the guilt from our hearts, through the merits of his son.” (Alma 24:10)  Jesus Christ’s works are what are to take away our guilt. Not our works, our works are prideful. Christ works are humble.
Yeah we are saved “after all we can do” (alma 25:23) but all we can really do is stop thinking that we can do so much for our salvation and accept what Christ did do for our salvation. Being “saved” as some Christians put it is a real experience, we scoff at it because we don’t understand the scriptures the way they are. Mosiah 5:2 talks about a people who were changed and they no longer had a desire to do evil.  It’s the baptism of fire, the mighty change of heart (link here) it’s how we really accept the merits of Christ his perspective is given to the person and this is how we are saved by the grace of Christ, and by our works. Christ’s works become our works when we actually take his name upon us. In a discussion with one of my companions about how to live without a desire to do evil, my companion kept repeating the commonly held doctrine that “changing is a process” and “it’s not going to happen all at once”.  I disagreed but I didn’t know how to show him that it is an all at once thing. Looking back now I should have said “yes you are right changing ourselves is a really long process that will not happen all at once; but allowing Christ to change us does happen all at once. He can do it for us much better than we can do it for ourselves.”

Moroni 6:6-7 mentions what church members should really focus on after baptism “relying alone upon the merits of Christ, who was the author and the finisher of their faith” is the conclusion. Of course in V. 7 it says that the iniquities are cast out but when someone has truly relied upon the merits of Christ they are purified and desire no more to do evil(mosiah5:2) When one really becomes like christ and has “the will of the Son … swallowed up in the will of the Father.” (Mosiah 15:7)

We need to quit looking waiting for eternity and notice “we are in eternity and out of it we can never get” (BY JD 2:8) “for the kingdom of heaven is AT HAND, at our feet, here for the accepting . But what does man do? He wants to buy it with his ‘worthiness’, grab it for his greediness, use it for his vanity” (Max Scousen)

“Come unto the lord with all your heart, and work out your own salvation with fear and trembling before him” (Mormon 9:27). How many of us can say we have been truly humble enough to fear the lord. Fear to the point of trembling. Not many of us I think. Were to ‘worthy’ to have to worry about our salvation. Obedience to commandments is important but only through Christ can we be truly obedient. Through our own efforts we will always be found unworthy.

The only reason I bring up my somewhat controversial views on these matters is that I know its true. “Am I therefore become your enemy, because I tell you the truth?” (Galatians 4:16) . And all this that you might understand that all flesh is in his hands so “be still and know that [he is] god” (D&C 101:16) once you get that far you will start to really see how heavenly this earth really is.  Eternal things real things are not obtained as a result of achievement they are gifts of god (Moroni 7). Anything eternal exists right now, the kingdom of heaven is here for us to find joy in we are just too busy ‘’knowing” better to see it. I find the joys of eternity surrounding me daily and it fills my soul with joy. Eternal life is to be found today, tomorrow and forever. Not earned. But until you really realize what you Christ had done and truly accept it, you will still be in the lone and dreary world WAITING….

whats your religion?

A well ironed shirt, a silky tie, and a black name tag bearing the name of a hypocrite. The tag bares 2 names actually, one of the hypocrite, the other is a sacred name that has been defiled and used by the hypocrite as a shield. The shield defends against anyone who may have a valid point against the hypocrite or his religion. The hypocrite claims his religion comes fully equipt with living prophets and apostles who will never lead him astray. He calls them the church. He says things like “the church teaches…” “the church’s stand on this is …” And “the church is true” he has no part in the decisions that “the church” makes neither does he want a part. Why should he? after all “the church is true” and “the church will never lead him astray” after all life is much easier that way. And thus many give the church thier free agency.

The latin root of the word religion means to bind. The main purpose of religion being to bind ones will to the will of god. But when we reclesly assume that another man knows the will of god 100 percent of the time we bind ourselves to that man. “Cursed I’d he that puteth has trust in man, or maketh flesh his arm” (2 nephi 28:31) god would have us bound to him by love and understanding. But men wish to bind you to them through power and authority.

“Shake off the chains of him that would bind you fast” (2 nephi 9:45) one day the hypocrite will be confronted with the contrast between what he thinks is religion is and what his religion really is. At this crucial point in his life if he choses to take back his agency he will be broken hearted, because he will realize that he has been fooled soo deeply by satan. Ths will cause true sorrow even to the point of tears. I know for me it did. But at this point when it feels like all has been lost; when the heart is truly broken, the atonement of christ will finally be allowed to take effect. “Behold he offereth himself a sacrifice for sin, to answer the ends of the law, unto all those who have a broken heart and a contrite spirit;and unto none else can the ends of the law be answered.”(2 nephi 2:7)

We all go to the same building on sunday to worship. But its obvious that some are of a different religion than others. After all there are only two churches. So take some tome and think about it, what’s your religion?

Nobodys Perfect?

A problem that i had growing up in the church was the notion that nobodys perfect, and nobodys going to be perfect in this life. I heard it alot and heard it repeated over and over. i believe the problem with this ideology is the finality that is applied to it. mormons are raised and conditioned to have these notions of finality. at least i know i was. ever since i was a  little kid looking up at the plan of salvation diagram with the 3 degrees of glory being the end, i was conditioned to think that there was a final judgment to end all judgments and that after that jusdgment i would never be able to become any better, and i would then be stuck in whatever kingdom i had recieved for the rest of forever.

today because of some things that ive learned im more inclined to believe that I am assigned to a kingdom right now and later i will live again and be assigned another kingdom, becausen gods course is one eternal round. Im a firm believer that everything that happens in this life god allows to happen for our beinifit.  “we are in the midst of eternity and out of it we can never get” i think that was brigham young. this time is a slice of our eternity and god knows perfectly what kind of people (what kind of kingdom) we need to be in order to progress.  people have a common inclination to think in terms of good and evil. they say he is a good person because he does this and that. and he is a bad person because he dosent do this and that. 

No one has a right to say you are a bad person because of what you do. a person who would cast such judgment with out the perfect understanding of christ is always making an incorrect judgment. all of these random comments were just my lead in for my favorite quote for the week.

Now I am going to tell a dream that I had, which I think is as applicable, to the people to-day – the 21st day of June, 1874, as when I had it. There were so many going to California, and going this way and that way, and they did not know what they wanted, and said I – “stay here, we can raise our food here, I know it is a good stock country, a good sheep country, and as good a country for raising silk as there is in the world, and we shall raise some of the best of wheat. There stands a man – Burr Frost, and there is Truman O. Angell, who were present at the time. Said I, “We can raise all we want here, do not go away, do not be discouraged.” That was when the pioneers came; the next year, it was California, California, California, California. “No,” said I, “stay here.” After much thought and reflection, and a good deal of praying and anxiety as to whether the people would be saved after all our trouble in being driven into the wilderness, I had a dream one night, the second year after we came in here. Captain Brown had gone up to the Weber, and bought a little place belonging to Miles Goodyear. Miles Goodyear had a few goats, and I had a few sheep that I had driven into the Valley, and I wanted to get a few goats to put along with the sheep. I had seen Captain Brown and spoken to him about the goats, and he said I could have them. Just at that time I had this dream, which I will now relate, I thought I had started and gone past the Hot Springs, which is about four miles north of this city. I was going after my goats. When I had gone round the point of the mountain by the Hot Springs, and had got about half a mile on the rise of ground beyond the Spring, whom should I meet but brother Joseph Smith. He had a wagon with no bed on, with bottom boards, and tents and camp equipage piled on. Somebody sat on the wagon driving the team. Behind the team I saw a great flock of sheep. I heard their bleating, and saw some goats among them. I looked at them and thought – “This is curious, brother Joseph has been up to Captain Brown’s and got my goats.” There were men driving the sheep, and some of the sheep I should think were three and a half feet high, with large, fine beautiful white fleeces, and they looked so lovely and pure; others were of moderate size, and pure and white; and in fact there were sheep of all sizes, with fleeces clean, pure and white. Then I saw some that were dark and spotted, of all colors and sizes and kinds, and their fleeces were dirty, and they looked inferior; some of these were a pretty good size, but not as large as some of the large fine clean sheep, and altogether there was a multitude of them of all sizes and kinds, and goats of all colors, sizes and kinds mixed among them. Joseph stopped the wagon, and the sheep kept rushing up until there was an immense herd. I looked in Joseph’s eye, and laughed, just as I had many a time when he was alive, about some trifling thing or other, and said I – “Joseph, you have got the darndest flock of sheep I ever saw in my life; what are you going to do with them, what on earth are they for?” Joseph looked cunningly out of his eyes, just as he used to at times, and said he - “They are all good in their places.” When I awoke in the morning I did not find any fault with those who wanted to go to California; I said, “If they want to go let them go, and we will do all we can to save them; I have no more fault to find, the sheep and the goats will run together, but Joseph says, “They are all good in their places.”
JD 18:245 – p.246, Brigham Young

 

Bored with church.

google just taught me that the lattin root of the word religion means to tie down or to bind up. that doesnt seem like a very enjoyable experience.

I dont know maybe its just because I still havent grown out of my hard to entertain teenager stage, but these days ive noticed that im exceptionally bored at church. Ive always been one to ask the why quesions. kind of like an annoying little kid i sat in church this sunday just asking myself why questions and answering them. I started by asking myself why am i at church? my answers were varried but they all really just went back to one reason, because im expected to be there. and then i ran through the list of people who espect me to be at chuch. My list was extensive, i figured most of the people i knew are on that list.  even my own name was on the list.

I expect myself to go to church. I also expect myself to sleep tonight. that dosent mean im going to enjoy it or that its going to go well.  Its just something that that i do.  actually most nights my sleep is just normal not good not bad, pretty boring actually.  its the same thing every night. around 10:00 i’ll go to bed and be unconcious for the next 8 hours or so then il wake to start a day that will definitly be less predictable than the night was. some days are exciting, even exilarating at times. but the nights when i sleep are always the same, close eyes, drift off  and then wake up.

thats usaully how i feel when i go to church its day time but I get there walk in the door and then it all kind of just passes by  for the next 3 hours and then i wake up starving. If I told most members i how i feel at church they would probly look at me and tell me that its satan trying to get me not to pay attention. but the problem is that im paying full attention the whole time but its become like reading a book that ive read a thousand times before. the following scripture seems quite relavent.

“They who are not chosen have sinned a very grievous sin, in that they are walking in darkness at noon-day.”(d&c 95:6)

surely this cant be the path to salvation, i mean if heaven is like church than im pretty sure i dont want to go. of course this has been all complaining so far so i’ll get to the point. Am i the only one who is bored at church does anyone else just not like going but still feels compelled to go? I dont think that got really cares to much if i go to church every sunday.  maybe its because i dont feel connected to the people at church. the people i enjoy spending time with are usually people im related to that might be just the problem. dont get me wrong i love the church  but man it is really boring these days. it just seems like there is only so much that the church can give me. and ive topped off. maybe thats an arrogant thing to say….well whatever.

i feel like the way to enjoy religion is not as a weekend club that everyone goes to but more of a culture that everyone lives. smells like zion to me. one reason i say that is because about a month ago in a conversation over the phone with a friend of mine from america she was asking me about the culture of the indigenous people of south africa, the zulus.  i was telling her about all the initiation rituals and the way they do marrige and other rituals, and she asked me if it was a religion. in my mind i thought no its much better than a religion, its a culture. is that how a zion comunity would be? would church on sunday even be needed in a zion comunity or would all things be done around the family altar?

im interested to hear some comments…

Journal of discourses Volume 4 p.78

It is the fashion in the world to embrace men in their faith, or a fine meeting house, or a genteel congregation, thinking, “O, what perfect order, and how pretty they look; how straight they walk to meeting, and how long their faces are during the services; how pretty that deacon looks under the pulpit; the people are so pretty, the meeting house is so nice, that we want to join such pretty people.” Such feelings will take a people to hell. Embrace a doctrine that will purge sin and iniquity from your hearts, and sanctify you before God, and you are right, no matter how others act.

Brigham young

 

 

 

 

 

“Is it not written in your law, I said, Ye are gods?”

This is a post that i have wanted to do for a very long time but just havent got the time to sit at a compluter and type it all out. Moses was comanded buy god to remove his shoes when he was standing near the burning bush. the way i read into the significance of  that is very much influeced by an experiece that i have had.

  ”Now the Spirit speaketh expressly, that in the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils; Speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their conscience seared with a hot iron;”

1 tim 4: 1-2

REMOVE YOUR SHOES!

In my high school years I became very involved in running cross country and track. towards the end of my junior year running  started to become a huge part of my life, I looked foreward to races like I child looks forward to christmas. It was the most important part of my life. Every week in school I would sit in class with a blank stare just daydreaming about the upcoming race, and the weekends race always determined my attitude for the next week. If I did I would be on top of the world all week. But if I did bad I would be very serious contemplating what i had done wrong to fix it at the next weekend race. I was addicted, and the dedication was paying off. Towards the end of my senior cross country reason i got an e mail from a college asking me to come run for them, I was the happiest kid alive my dream had come true I didn’t have to quit running after high school. Now anyone who knows anything about being a good distance runner knows the importance of running heavy mileage every week. And anyone who knows anything about running heavy mileage every week knows that the shoes you wear are very important. In high school my training was pretty low mileage but I would buy shoes like a pro, analyzing every detail, and reading every review getting advice  from all the experts, and I never once had an injury problem, but keep in mind I was not running really high mileage. When i got into college it was a totally different story training was serious and I was expected to run between 70 and 100 miles a week every week for the whole season. With the up in mileage shoe choice became more important than ever. I was wearing pretty normal running shoes for the first half of my freshman year and everything was fine I stayed relatively injury free. But at the beginning of the second half of the year disaster struck and i got one of the worst injures I had ever had. I had what called plantar faciaitis. I couldnt even walk a definitely couldnt go on a ten-mile run. It was terrible i had to watch my teammates succeed in practice while I sat in the sidelines. One day after practice I was so depressed i broke down and started to cry like a baby. The one thing I enjoyed most was taken from me I fell to my knees and started to offer up a prayer asking god to heal me. . . It didn’t happen. So because I lacked the faith to be healed I asked him to at least show me what I needed to do to be healed. . . Still nothing. So I decided to ask my physical therapist what to do. His answer was to keep coming to physical therapy 2 times a week and get fitted for some custom orthotics I did what the doc said and kept coming in and eventually I got the new orthotics. When those came in i started running again. . . My foot still was not 100 percent but I could run. Then I had am idea that just to play it safe I would buy new shoes just to play it safe with the new shoes and orthotics. I bought the most high-tech asics motion control shoes on the market so 800 dollars and a month later i was running again. It all seemed ok for about a week, then I started to feel pain in different places than the foot mainly in my knee, and this pain was worse than the pain i had had in my foot.

My whole world was falling apart because of these injuries and the expert advice only made it hurt worse. I spent the whole night laying awake in bed worried and feeling sorry for myself, just hoping and praying that I would be able to run again soon. I woke up the next morning and had a feeling it was going t be a great day. I decided I would go down to the park and try running again before I gave up completely. I laced up my high tech shoes and drove to the park. As I stepped out of the car the grass just looked so inviting. I started running and about 400 meters into it the pain shot up my right leg worse than ever. I fell on the ground frustrated and slightly angry, I ripped the shoes off my feet and threw them both as far as I could. As I stood up I looked over at my shoes which were about 50 meters away from me and after my leg stopped hurting i decided to jog over and pick them up. As I ran over to shoes barefoot it felt different. The pain was still there but it was going away rather than getting worse so I picked up my shoes and kept running back to the car. By the time i got to the car the pain was no longer there so I dropped off the shoes and decided to go for a little run without them. I ran about two miles and felt better and more comfortable than I had in several months.  The next day my calves were super sore but this was not a bad pain like the other pains it was a growing pain. I could feel that I was getting stronger whereas the pain i got from the shoes only made me weak.

 Over the next few months I eased into running in more minimal footwear. The less shoe between me and the road the better became my motto. Some mornings were painfully sore but every day I could feel myself running faster and with better form than I had ever had before. Running became something ten times more enjoyable I felt free smooth and fast. Running is going to be a lifetime sport for me and thanks to this experience ive gained  more than just a new perspective on running but a new perspective on life. Most of the shoes I was buying before were had some sort of motion control to fix what was supposedly wrong with me. All of them had at least an inch of material in the heel to protect my foot from the pavement. And all of them made my feet feel heavy. The shoes were what controlled my running form if I didn’t run they way they wanted to me I would get hurt. The shoes were supposed to make me  better runner by dictating my stride but ultimately I was just putting my unbroken feet in a cast.

there are a ton of morals i could pull form this little life experience but i will just try a couple and let you figure out the rest.

we all have grown up in a society that seems like it wants the best for us. just like the people at the store who were offering me all sorts of  things that they thought would be best for me we are surrounded every day by people who are more than willing to influence our thought patters so that we think and believe what is best for us. Parents, friends, and ecleziasticle leaders all have their belief systems that stems mostly from what they were told their entire life. These beliefes ultimatly shape your beliefes and how you will look at anything that you see or hear. all of  these accumulated notions tend to inflece personal responses to othe incoming influences. we can often become unreceptive to the influence of god becuse the influence of  man is far to prevalent. This is a big problem with many people both in and outside of the church today. Many have become afraid to make thier own decisions or form thier own belief all because a few people they dont even know have said something about it already so that must be the way it must be. We dont claim to have any creeds but ask any missionarry a question about a certain topic and he will give you the creed. i guess the point of this post is just to encourage whoever reads it to take off their shoes ( preconcieved notions) dont listen to what your told just because them who told you are in charge. jesus died to make men holy let us live to make men FREE! free to think free to chose, free to tell your leader he is wrong when he is. you are free you are man made in the image of god, start acting like it and quit being man who makes other men in the image of god.

“I cannot believe in any of the creeds of the different denominations, because they all have some things in them I cannot subscribe to, though all of them have some truth. I want to come up into the presence of God, and learn all things; but the creeds set up stakes, and say, ‘Hitherto shalt thou come, and no further; which I cannot subscribe to.” -joseph smith

“forget those stupid lillies and get a job you crazy hippy”

Thats what i figure many lds people would say to jesus if he came in person and said this to them. “Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature? And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin”

This week I sat in another uncomfortable missionary meeting. I say uncomfortable because it can be quite painful to sit and listen to a conversation wishing to bust out in protest but knowing the how terribly most will disagree. The meeting was about goal setting and statistics and it honestly wasn’t  as bad as usual but still pretty discomforting to hear.  And it all started with this quote from Preach my Gospel, “I am so thoroughly convinced that if we don’t set goals in our life and learn how to master the techniques of living to reach our goals, we can reach a ripe old age and look back on our life only to see the we reached a small part of our full potential. When one learns to master the principles of setting a goal , he will be able to make a great difference in the results he attains in this life” (M. Russell Ballard) I really hope I’m not the only one that feels like vomiting when I hear that. According the quote goal setting is the catalyst to reaching our potential.

The phrase “Techniques of living to reach our goals” rings in my ears as the doctrine of the antichrist. Lets take a look and compare and you can tell me if I’m wrong. Korihor taught “every man fared in this life according to the management of the creature;  therefore every man prospered according to his genius, and every man conquered according to his strength” I think mastering techniques of living to reach our goals could be termed managing the creature.  I think you can figure out how obviously terrible this philosophy is. But for those who still aren’t sure il make it more obvious.

According to these two quotes I’m planning on being a failure if I follow the example of the savior and “take no thought for the morrow” after all “which of you can by taking thought (setting goals/planning) can add one cubit unto his stature.” According to Jesus you’re not the one in control of any real prosperity.  All you have to do is allow god to do so. After all men are that they might have joy not so that you can run around your whole life chasing a goal for some future joy. He wants you to experience that joy now. I am so thoroughly convinced that if you spend your whole life scrambling from task to task worried about reaching your goals you will return to the father  and hear, “thou fool, this night thy soul shall be required of thee: then whose shall those things be, which thou has provided” (Luke 12: 13-20)

The thing is that heaven, happiness and all the real stuff are not personal achievements as a result of goal setting and personal management. That is what Satan would have you think to keep you relying on the arm of the flesh (yourself). It’s a result of realizing that we have to accept someone else doing it for us (Jesus) . Well with a fat bank deposit from corperate every 2 weeks a nice car and still getting fed every night it can be pretty easy to forget to consider the lillies.

Dont Call It A Theory

Brigham young taugt…

 “He [Adam] had once been in the flesh, and lived as we live, obtained His exaltation, attained to thrones, gained the ascendancy over principalities and powers, and had the knowledge and power to create–to bring forth and organize the elements upon natural principles. This He did after His ascension, or His glory, or His eternity, and was actually classed with the Gods, with beings who create, with those who have kept the celestial law while in the flesh, and again obtained their bodies. Then He was prepared to commence the work of creation, as the Scriptures teach. It is all here in the bible; I am not telling you a word but what is contained in that book (J.D. 4:217).

much earlier Joseph gave us some big hints on the doctrine.

“Commencing with Adam, who was the first man, who is spoken of in Daniel as being the “ancient of days”, or in other words, the first and oldest of all, the great, grand progenitor of whom it is  said in another place he is Michael, because he was the first and father of all, not only by  progeny, but the first to hold spiritual blessings, to whom was made known the plan of ordinances for the salvation of his posterity unto the end, and to whom Christ was first revealed and through whom Christ as been revealed from henceforth” (tpjs 167)  Joseph then read Ephesians 1:9-10 applying it to Adam. 

From this we learn that Adam reveals Christ, he definitely did to Joseph smith. “this is my beloved son, hear him” and to those who were at his baptism “this is my beloved son in whom I am well pleased”  these statements are revealing the Christ. In other words announcing the Christ.  This is one of the first instances of joseph announcing the adam-god doctrine, all bible loving Christians look to the ancient of days in Daniel 7 as being god the father. So to say the ancient of days is adam is to say the Adam is god.  furthermore brigham supported joseph much later by saying

“Who was it that spoke from the heavens and said “This is my beloved son hear ye him?” Was it God the Father? It was. … Who did beget [Jesus]? His Father, and his father is our God, and the Father of our spirits, and he is the framer of the body, the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. Who is he? He is Father Adam; Michael; the Ancient of Days.” (BY, 2-19-1854)

Joseph, Brigham and the prophet Daniel taught very plainly…

“the son of man stands before him (adam) and there is given him glory  and dominion. Adam delivers up his stewardship tochrist, that which was deliverd to him as holding the keys of the universe, but retains his standing as head of the human family” (tpjs 157)

“I beheld till the thrones were cast down, and the Ancient of days did sit, whose garment was white as snow, and the hair of his head like the pure wool: his throne was like the fiery flame, and his wheelsas burning fire. A fiery stream issued and came forth from before him: thousand thousands ministered unto him, and ten thousand times ten thousand stood before him: the judgment was set, and the books were opened.I beheld then because of the voice of the great words which the horn spake: I beheld even till the beast was slain, and his body destroyed, and given to the burning flame. As concerning the rest of the beasts, they had their dominion taken away: yet their lives were prolonged for a season and time. I saw in the night visions, and, behold, one like the Son of man came with the clouds of heaven, and came to the Ancient of days, and they brought him near before him. And there was given him dominion, and glory, and a kingdom, that all people, nations, and languages, should serve him: his dominion is an everlasting dominion, which shall not pass away, and his kingdom that which shall not be destroyed.” Daniel 7: 9-14

Its kind of like when a stake patriarch gets released he still can give patriarchal blessing to family members but his stewardship and keys are given to the new guy who was called. 

D&C 129:1 tells us angels are resurrected beings. D&C 88:112 tells us the hosts of heaven are Michaels armies. Speaking of Jesus Joseph smith sayed, “after his resurrection he appeared as an angel to his disciples” (tpjs 191) This places him under the direction of Adam the Arch or Chief angel.

1. “The heads of the gods ( Eloheim and Jehovah) appointed one god for us (Michael); and when you take that view of the subject it sets one free to see all the beauty, holiness and perfection of the gods”(tpjs 372)

That statement refers to one agreement made in the heavens. The following statement refers to another agreement previous to the earths organization.

2.”Everlasting covenant was made between three personages before the organization of this earth and relates to their dispensation of things to men on the earth; these personages according to Abrahams record, are called god the first, the creator ( Michael/Adam) God the second, the redeemer (Jesus Christ) and god the third, the witness or testator. (Joseph/the oms)” (tpjs)

So if my identifications of the people referred to are correct we get a progression here, Elohiem, Jehovah, and Michael first as the heads of the gods. And then Adam Jesus and Joseph as the subordinate godhead.

“Angels are under the direction of Adam who acts under the direction of the lord” (tpjs 168)

I’m assuming the Lord in this statement t is Jehovah. The question the can come up, who do I pray to then? Well Jesus prayed to his father. Brigham taught that his father was Adam. Joseph prayed to Jehovah in D&C 109 and calls Jehovah father. And given the progression of things and jesus saying he does nothing save that which he as seen his father (Adam) do.  Id assume the same went for Adams father and his father and his father  and on and on.  So Adam  was a Jesus and is a Jehovah and is a Michael and is a member of the Elohiem and so is Jehovah and so is Jehovah’s father. And so will be Jesus, and all that become Christ’s and enter into their exaltation. Just dont get to caught up in the name game… most arent names anyways they are  titles.

Adam-ondi-Ahman means the place where Adam is proclaimed god. You are Adam when you find your garden with the tree of life that is Jesus Christ in the midst of the garden…but that’s a thought for another day.

for a further write up on this topic see http://www.weepingforzion.com/?p=306

“And he who obeyeth the truth, the works wich he doeth they are of god.” JST John 3:22

the following is a guest post done by a buddy of mine i sent him all of the quoted stuff and told him to ponder it and tell me what he thought. and this is what i got in reply.

“The light which is in all things, which giveth life to all things, which is the law by which all things are governed”

“There is a law, irrevocably decreed in heaven before the foundations of this world, upon which all blessings are predicated”

“And whoso receiveth not my voice is not acquainted with my voice, and is not of me.”

“For you shall live by every word that proceedeth forth from the mouth of God. the word of the Lord is truth, and whatsoever is truth is light, and whatsoever is light is Spirit, even the Spirit of Jesus Christ.”

“And as pertaining to the new and everlasting covenant, it was instituted for the fulness of my glory; and he that receiveth a fulness thereof must and shall abide the law, or he shall be damned, saith the Lord God.”

“Behold, the days come, saith the Lord, that I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel, and with the house of Judah: Not according to the covenant that I made with their fathers in the day that I took them by the hand to bring them out of the land of Egypt; which my covenant they brake, although I was an husband unto them, saith the Lord: But this shall be the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel; After those days, saith the Lord, I will put my law in their inward parts, and write it in their hearts; and will be their God, and they shall be my people.” Jer 31

“For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God. “

“And it came to pass that the Spirit said unto me again: Slay him, for the Lord hath delivered him into thy hands”

“For the good that I would have done when under the law, I find not to be good; therefore,I do it not. But the evil which I would not do under the law, I find to be good; that, I do. Now if I do that, through the assistance of Christ, I would not do under the law, I am not under the law; and it is no more that I seek to do wrong, but to subdue sin that dwelleth in me. I find then that under the law, that when I would do good evil was present with me; for I delight in the law of God after the inward man. And now I see another law, even the commandment of Christ, and it is imprinted in my mind.”  JST Rom 7:20-24

God is the law that everthing follows and his voice and what he says is law when god tells a sea to split in half it does it when god tells trees to get up and go it goes everything is governed by the law which is what he says now for us i kinda interpreted it as the spirit or elohiem who is running the show we has people or individuals are to learn of him and his voice basically undertand promtings and when the spirit is speaking to us and follow what the spirit or what god tells us but it’s an indivitual thing not a people thing commandments are general and salvation is a personal thing how one person progresses and learns is not the same as the next person and the spirit is personal god knows us individually and will tell us personally what to do and he knows how to get us to where we need to go what may be good for someone is not good for someone else some people have to learn the hard way and others have to go agaist some of the rules and stuff to learn but really though it’s when we are obedient to god or the law or the spirit that the blessings come he tells us things throught the spirit when we listen we get blessings the thing is the spirit is not general it’s taylored to each person we have to learn his voice and follow and we are on the right track it doesn’t mean we are all on the same page though cause salvaiton is individual it’s not like we all get on the same train and ride to the celestial kingdom togeter or else personal revelation won’t be important

The new and everlasting covenant that god wants to make with all of is is for us to abide his law and be aquainted to his voice and follow it.

“The weak things of the world shall come forth and break down the mighty and strong ones, that man should not counsel his fellow man, neither trustin the arm of flesh. But that every man might speak in the name of God the Lord, even the Savior of the world; That faith also might increase in the earth;That mine everlasting covenant might be established.”

HEAR HIS VOICE AS ONE CRYING IN THE WILDERNESS AND YOU WILL KNOW HIM AND HE WILL KNOW YOU AND YOU WILL BE ONE.