Bored with church.

November 21, 2011

google just taught me that the lattin root of the word religion means to tie down or to bind up. that doesnt seem like a very enjoyable experience.

I dont know maybe its just because I still havent grown out of my hard to entertain teenager stage, but these days ive noticed that im exceptionally bored at church. Ive always been one to ask the why quesions. kind of like an annoying little kid i sat in church this sunday just asking myself why questions and answering them. I started by asking myself why am i at church? my answers were varried but they all really just went back to one reason, because im expected to be there. and then i ran through the list of people who espect me to be at chuch. My list was extensive, i figured most of the people i knew are on that list.  even my own name was on the list.

I expect myself to go to church. I also expect myself to sleep tonight. that dosent mean im going to enjoy it or that its going to go well.  Its just something that that i do.  actually most nights my sleep is just normal not good not bad, pretty boring actually.  its the same thing every night. around 10:00 i’ll go to bed and be unconcious for the next 8 hours or so then il wake to start a day that will definitly be less predictable than the night was. some days are exciting, even exilarating at times. but the nights when i sleep are always the same, close eyes, drift off  and then wake up.

thats usaully how i feel when i go to church its day time but I get there walk in the door and then it all kind of just passes by  for the next 3 hours and then i wake up starving. If I told most members i how i feel at church they would probly look at me and tell me that its satan trying to get me not to pay attention. but the problem is that im paying full attention the whole time but its become like reading a book that ive read a thousand times before. the following scripture seems quite relavent.

“They who are not chosen have sinned a very grievous sin, in that they are walking in darkness at noon-day.”(d&c 95:6)

surely this cant be the path to salvation, i mean if heaven is like church than im pretty sure i dont want to go. of course this has been all complaining so far so i’ll get to the point. Am i the only one who is bored at church does anyone else just not like going but still feels compelled to go? I dont think that got really cares to much if i go to church every sunday.  maybe its because i dont feel connected to the people at church. the people i enjoy spending time with are usually people im related to that might be just the problem. dont get me wrong i love the church  but man it is really boring these days. it just seems like there is only so much that the church can give me. and ive topped off. maybe thats an arrogant thing to say….well whatever.

i feel like the way to enjoy religion is not as a weekend club that everyone goes to but more of a culture that everyone lives. smells like zion to me. one reason i say that is because about a month ago in a conversation over the phone with a friend of mine from america she was asking me about the culture of the indigenous people of south africa, the zulus.  i was telling her about all the initiation rituals and the way they do marrige and other rituals, and she asked me if it was a religion. in my mind i thought no its much better than a religion, its a culture. is that how a zion comunity would be? would church on sunday even be needed in a zion comunity or would all things be done around the family altar?

im interested to hear some comments…

Journal of discourses Volume 4 p.78

It is the fashion in the world to embrace men in their faith, or a fine meeting house, or a genteel congregation, thinking, “O, what perfect order, and how pretty they look; how straight they walk to meeting, and how long their faces are during the services; how pretty that deacon looks under the pulpit; the people are so pretty, the meeting house is so nice, that we want to join such pretty people.” Such feelings will take a people to hell. Embrace a doctrine that will purge sin and iniquity from your hearts, and sanctify you before God, and you are right, no matter how others act.

Brigham young